How do you manage expectations before an important competition?

You have been training well.

Your results have been strong.

Perhaps your coach says:

You really have a chance to win.

Your parents are hoping for a good result. Your teammates believe in you. You know what you are capable of.

It should feel positive. But suddenly, something happens. What previously felt like an opportunity starts to feel like a demand.

Now I have to perform.

Everyone expects me to do well.

What if I disappoint them?

Expectations are a natural part of sport. The problem is not necessarily that people believe in you. The problem arises when their expectations—or your own—start to dictate what you think about when it is time to perform.

Why do expectations create pressure?

Imagine two competitions.

In the first, you think: I am going to go out and do what I have trained to do.

In the second, you think: I have to show that I am as good as everyone thinks.

It is the same athlete. The same skills. But mentally, the task has changed.

In the first situation, you need to perform. In the second, you also need to prove something, defend something, live up to something and avoid disappointing someone.

That adds an extra layer on top of the performance itself. It is also one of the reasons many people find that they perform worse when it really matters.

Your own expectations can be just as heavy

Pressure does not have to come from someone else.

Perhaps you have trained all year for this particular competition. You know you are better than before. Then the thought comes:

I should perform well now.

The word "should" can quickly become: I have to.

There is a difference between I think I can win and I have to win for this competition to be a success.

The first thought describes a possibility. The second creates a condition.

8 ways to manage expectations before a competition

1. Acknowledge that the expectations exist

Do not try to tell yourself I feel no pressure at all if you actually do.

Instead, say: There are high expectations for this competition, and I notice that they are affecting me.

That is information. Not a failure. You do not need to get rid of the feeling before you can perform.

2. Separate expectations from demands

You can want to win. Your coach can believe you can win. Your family can hope you win.

But none of this means: You have to win.

Expectation: I think this could go well.

Demand: This has to go well.

Try to notice when one starts turning into the other.

3. Ask what you can actually control

Can you control the result, your opponent, the referee, the weather or the crowd's reaction? No.

Can you influence your preparation, your routine, your decisions, your effort and where you direct your attention? Yes.

The more important the competition feels, the more important it becomes to return to what you can control.

4. Decide what a good performance means before the competition

If your only definition of a good competition is I win, you have made your experience dependent on something you cannot fully control.

Instead, set a few performance goals:

• I follow my routine.
• I take one step at a time.
• I accept mistakes and move on.
• I keep making brave decisions.

The result still matters. But you also have criteria that relate to how you actually carry out your performance.

5. Stop trying to read other people's minds

My coach will be disappointed.

Mum and Dad expect more.

Everyone will wonder what happened if I lose.

Do you know that? Or are you imagining it?

We can spend a lot of mental energy trying to manage reactions that have not happened yet. Ask: What do I know—and what am I assuming?

6. Accept that others are allowed to have expectations

You cannot control what other people believe. A coach is allowed to believe you can win. A parent is allowed to hope for a good result. The crowd is allowed to have expectations.

That does not mean you need to carry them while you perform. You can think: That is their expectation. My job is to carry out my performance.

7. Create a simple focus cue

When your head fills with results, rankings, team selections, what your coach thinks, what your parents think and what will happen if you lose, you need something simple to return to.

Examples: Next ball. Next situation. Breathe and see the task. My routine.

The focus cue is not meant to solve the entire competition. It is meant to help you return to what is happening now.

8. Decide what you want to stand for when pressure comes

You cannot always decide how you will feel. But you can consider: How do I want to act when I feel pressure?

Perhaps bravely, with focus, patiently, aggressively, calmly or with curiosity. That gives you a direction even when your feelings change.

"Everyone expects me to win"

Perhaps they do. But being the favourite does not mean the result has already been decided. You still need to play the match.

A common mistake is for the favourite to start thinking I have something to lose instead of I have a performance ahead of me.

Try not to defend your ranking, status or previous results. Do today's task.

When past success creates new pressure

You had a fantastic competition last time. Now the next one is coming. Suddenly, that previous success almost feels like a problem.

Now I have to show that it was not a fluke.

But you do not need to recreate your previous performance. It is already done. The next competition is a new situation.

The question is not Can I prove that I am still good? The question is What do I need to do here and now?

When parents create pressure without meaning to

Parents often mean well. Questions such as Do you think you will win today?, Who are you competing against? and What was the result? can feel very different to different athletes.

One athlete hears interest. Another hears expectations.

As a parent, you can therefore also ask What do you want to focus on today? or, after the competition, How did it feel? That opens up a conversation about more than just the result.

When your coach has high expectations

Having a coach who believes in you can be positive. But if you experience those expectations as pressure, it may be worth talking about it.

For example: When we talk a lot about results before a competition, I notice that I start focusing on not failing. Could we instead talk more about what I need to do?

That is not a sign of weakness. It is information about what helps you perform.

Fear of disappointing others

This can be a powerful driving force. Perhaps losing is not even your main fear. You are afraid of the look afterwards, the conversation with your coach, your parents' reaction or your teammates.

But if you try to perform in order to avoid other people's disappointment, your attention can easily be directed away from the task itself.

Remind yourself: I am responsible for my preparation and my actions. I cannot control everyone else's reactions.

Expectations and identity

The more sport means to you, the more easily results can start to affect how you see yourself. You are no longer a person who competes—it starts to feel as though the result shows who I am.

That increases the pressure. Try to separate PERSON from PERFORMANCE. It is the same principle described in the article on person vs performance.

You can perform poorly without being a bad person or athlete. You can lose without losing your worth. And when a competition does not turn out as you hoped, much depends on how you recover mentally after a poor performance.

A simple routine before an important competition

The evening before or on the day of the competition, write down:

What am I hoping for? Be honest.

What am I afraid will happen? Put it into words.

Whose expectations am I feeling? My own? My coach's? My family's? Those of the people around me?

What can I actually influence? Choose 2–3 things.

What do I want to focus on when the competition starts? Keep it simple.

How do I want to act when pressure comes? Choose a word or a direction.

Then: go and compete.

Mental strength does not mean the pressure disappears

It is fine for an important competition to feel important. Nervousness and expectations do not have to mean that something is wrong. The same applies to competition nerves and performance anxiety.

The goal of mental training is not always I want to feel completely calm. A better goal may be I can carry out my task even when I feel pressure.

That is a skill. And skills can be trained—just like self-confidence as an athlete.

Summary

Expectations become problematic when they shift from This could go well to This has to go well.

You do not need to eliminate expectations. You need to get better at managing them.

Separate expectations from demands. Direct your attention towards what you can influence. Set performance goals beyond the result. Let other people own their expectations.

And when your thoughts turn to what everyone else will think: return to the task in front of you.

You do not need to live up to everything around you. You need to carry out the next part of your performance.

Want to get better at performing when it really matters?

Mental training helps you develop tools for focus, self-confidence and managing pressure and expectations in competitive situations.

Learn more about Growmaster Sport